Hooking up can be incredibly fun and liberating, but it can also be extremely regretful and humiliating. Whether you are newly single and merely wish to let loose for a bit or one-night stands have become a weekend treat for you, here are seven tips to improve a free hookup.
1) Be Clean
First and foremost, make sure you are clean…in all the right places. This is a given—and something you should do anytime you make an appearance in public—but on a night where you plan to wear nothing but your birthday suit, it is especially important. Nothing can ruin the mood faster than finally removing that last piece of clothing only to be hit in the face with a foul, raunchy smell of a full day’s sweat and body odor.
Being clean not only prevents ruining the mood but also shows you take care in personal hygiene and the way you present yourself, which can be a huge turn on in most cases. So take that extra five minutes in the shower and scrub a little deeper, wash behind those ears and rinse and repeat if instructed.
2) Be Prepared and Safe
One of the most important things before hooking up is making sure that you are prepared and safe. This can relate to your mental state, emotional state, sexual arousal, and/or most importantly, condoms. Always remember: no glove, no love. When hooking up, it is more than likely with someone you are not familiar with. That being said, you do not know who else they have hooked up with or when, and the same goes for them about you. To prevent any awkward phone calls later in the week relating to “I think you gave me an STD” or “I think I may be pregnant,” it is better just to play it safe from the get-go and use protection.
Protection can also refer to birth control or other contraceptives, but wearing a condom is physical, in-the-moment proof that protection is taking place. And never, ever rag on someone for wanting to use protection or pressure someone into not using protection “so it feels better.” Those 15 minutes of intense pleasure are not worth a lifetime of STD infections.
3) Have Zero Expectations of Commitment
If you are planning on hooking up with someone in hopes that they will start liking you and a real relationship will form, stop immediately and reevaluate everything. Hooking up is exactly the opposite of that. Sure, some relationships stem from a drunken one-night stand or a string of casual hookups, but that is not likely, and they usually don’t turn out to be the greatest relationships. Hooking up is about a night of fun and sometimes even a morning of regret, not about finding out if you and your Prince Charming are compatible in bed.
If you go into a hookup wanting and expecting more than a night of fun, then you are going to end up hurt and self-loathing the morning after.
4) Keep Track of Alcohol Consumption
Hooking up and alcohol usually goes hand-in-hand. They’re a great combo and I don’t think anyone intends on splitting them up anytime soon—I don’t think it’d be possible. But with that being said, it is very important to keep track of not only your alcohol consumption, but also that of the person you are interested in as well. The most important reason is that it is vital that both parties offer consent and are willing to participate—too much alcohol can skew judgments and memories, which can lead to a lot of trouble when you wake up in a bed or next to someone you don’t remember from the night before.
It can be absolutely devastating to have someone claim they don’t recall meeting you and especially don’t recall inviting you over and getting into bed with you. Alcohol is a tricky and powerful thing that can either do you a lot of good or a lot of bad, so it is important to enjoy it in moderation and never use it as a tactic to hooking up.
5) Make Sure it is Consensual
I cannot stress this tip enough. You’ve heard it from your parents, from your grandparents, from your teachers, from your peers; make sure that both parties offer full consent before trying anything! The consequences of not doing so can be detrimental to your life and reputation. No one wants to hear the next morning that the person they just hooked up doesn’t remember a thing from the night before. No one wants rape accusations made against them after they thought they had a great night with another mutually consenting adult.
And a lot this plays into the tip above: keeping track of alcohol consumption. If someone has had too much to drink, then they can be unable to provide legitimate consent and it is never, ever okay to take advantage of someone like that. Consent, consent, consent; I can’t say it enough.
6) Go Somewhere Secure
After both of your intentions are clear and mutual consent has been given, then your next step is getting somewhere private so the real fun can commence. The bar restroom, a side alley or a nearby park are definite no-go’s and I hope you already felt that way before reading it just now. You don’t want to be caught, you don’t want to be interrupted or crept on and you definitely don’t want someone secretly taking pictures or filming.
I highly suggest choosing one of your houses or apartments and going back there to continue the fun. If the option is available, always go back to the female’s place. As a male, this gives you the option to skip out at any time, and as a female, this allows you to feel more comfortable and definitely far safer being in your own place. If worst comes to worst and both of you are cool with it, a car always works as well and calls for a quick session before most likely parting ways.
7) Embrace the Awkwardness
There will be awkwardness; embrace it, roll with it, use it in your favor if possible, just don’t let it overpower you and throw you off your game. Awkwardness is inevitable in these types of situations—you are revealing the most private parts about you to someone who knows nearly nothing about you.
The way or order you are used to doing things may not be the same way or order they are used to doing things. Their level of comfort may not be as high as yours, or it could even exceed yours. No matter the case, heads will butt (maybe even literally) and awkward situations will arise. Acknowledge to yourself that these are normal, calm down and move on.
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