There’s a universal idea that all men merely want is sex, but this isn’t true because a lot of women also only want sex.
In today’s culture and dealing with its social norms, casual, no-strings-attached sex has become just as common as owning an iPhone. Essentially, two people mutually benefit off of emotionless, carefree sexual encounters that happen whenever both parties see it fit.
But things aren’t always that simple. A lot of the times, one person may have genuine feelings for the other or these feelings may begin to develop later on. Either way, this compromises the “emotionless,” “no-strings-attached sex” mentality and conflicts will certainly arise.
The best way to prevent this from happening is by simply letting your partner know that all you want is sex, that your guys’ relationship revolves around sexual pleasure and nothing more and that you do not and will not see this person as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. The better you let them know, the easier and smoother things will be.
Here are five ways to help you tell that special someone that all you’re after is sex:
1) Be Upfront From the Get-go
The easiest and most mature way to deal with the situation is by saying upfront that all you seek and desire from them is sex. As they say, honesty is the best policy.
Things can become tricky though if the other person has feelings for you, and this is when it is most important that you are upfront about the whole situation. It is also important to be kind and sympathetic if the person you are hooking up with likes you. This doesn’t mean that you should compliment and flirt with them—as this would only confuse them more—but don’t give them any false hope that what you guys have could turn into a relationship.
Being completely honest and telling someone the truth is the easiest and most efficient way to let someone know all you want is casual sex.
2) Make Sure of Your Motives
Before things really get heated between you and the person you are hooking up with, it is well advised to double check your motive and make sure that you are in it for the right reasons.
Many times, we, or other people, say things simply to make a person like us. I know I am guilty of such. But when the other person sincerely cares for you, doing this is only cold-hearted and rude.
But it is crucial that you fully understand and acknowledge how you truly feel about the situation and then act accordingly. If you think long and hard about it and still merely wish for sex, then as said earlier, be upfront about it and don’t beat around the bush.
If you find yourself wanting a relationship, but know that the person you are hooking up with does not, then don’t belittle yourself and continue to pleasure them while mentally destroying yourself. But if this kind of situation does not bother you, and you’re capable of hiding your feelings deep down inside so they don’t bother you, then, by all means, go for it!
Either way, just be sure that you completely understand what is you are after and that this is communicated to your partner.
3) Stay Detached
One of the simplest, but also cruelest, ways to make it clear you merely want sex is by staying detached. I only say it can be one of the cruelest ways in the case that the person you are hooking up with genuinely cares for you and reaches out to you multiple times for things other than sex.
Staying detached has become easier than ever in today’s day-and-age due to most of the communication being done through text messaging. It is far too easy to simply read a text you received and then not reply.
But when communicating, it is important that you keep it short and to the point. Don’t allow for small talk to take place, simply choose a time and a place to meet and then end of the conversation.
If they try contacting you throughout the day about petty things, just ignore them and then call later that night when you’re ready for the real reason you guys communicate. I don’t think they’ll mind too much once you guys have met up.
4) Don’t Linger After Sex
This is where things can go terribly wrong, and your perceived desires can be completely skewed by the person you are hooking up with. Do NOT linger. I repeat, do NOT linger.
After sex, people typically enjoy cuddling and having real, honest pillow talk. This can be a very emotional and personal time, often strengthening the bond between two people. So yeah, don’t ever do that if all you’re looking for is sex.
While you may be quite tired and need a few minutes to collect yourself, it is important that you don’t stay too long or fall asleep and spend the night. The thing with merely hooking up is you’re in, you’re out, and there is no time spent lounging around and bonding even further.
It is important that you establish this “no lingering” protocol after the very first time you guys have sex so there is no confusion later on. After you’ve done the deed, merely get up, grab your clothes and say you’ll call them later. Telling them that you’ll call allows you to decide when the next contact is made, especially if you know this person genuinely cares for you.
5) Make it Known You Are Seeing Others
While this is not the kindest way to let someone know, it certainly gets the point across without any room for confusion. Letting the person you are hooking up with know that there are also other people who find themselves in your bed after a night of fun tells them immediately that there are no stronger feelings than sexual attraction on your end of the care free sex dating.
You can make this clear by simply telling them that you are seeing other people, or maybe by leaving another person’s clothes around so they see this and understand that they’re not the only ones getting undressed in your room.
No matter your way of doing so, making it clear that you are also sleeping with other people is a sure way to let someone know all you are after is sex and nothing more—or meaningful.
Want to learn more about how to navigate the murky world of casual sex dating? Check out the video below!
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